TRICK OR TREAT, SMELL MY FEET!
Marilyn A. Kinsella (with inspiration from Barb Driesner)
PUPPETS: Little girl (Sally Jean); Witch; Little Boy (Bud); Lambchop, Dragon; Santa Claus; Barney
PROPS: Fancy dress for girl puppet and 2 small Halloween bags to carry. Mask or simple outfit for Boy.
ACT I Scene: Along a road on Halloween night. Bud and Sally Jean meet while trick or treating.
B. Hi, Sally Jean, getting some trick or treating in before the big Halloween contest later on tonight?
S. Right, Bud. Do you like my costume? My mom went all out this year so I could be Cinderella. After winning first place last year as the Christmas tree, I just had to come up with something really different because I want to win first place again. Do you think I will?
B. Well, you sure look great. After I get finished trick or treating, I’m going to the contest and will announce the contestants. But I didn’t want to miss out on my stash of candy.
S. Neither did I. I already have five popcorn balls, a bag of Hershey kisses, a handful of Double Bubble Bubble Gum , a candy apple and a box of ju-ju beads. How did you do?
B. Pretty good. I got all that AND a whole bag of chocolate covered ants.
S. Cool! Chocolate covered ants. Who ever gave you those?
B. You know Ms. Gwendolyn that lives at the top of Dead Man’s Hill? She was giving them out. I guess she thought it was some kind of joke ha-ha! But , at least she gave out something sweet. Last year she gave out pickled pigs feet.
S. You mean, Witch Gwendolyn? You actually went to Witch Gwendolyn’ house? Weren’t you scared?
B. Not really. Her bark’s worse than her bite.
S. I’d never go to that spooky old house. Never, never never!
B. Really, Sally Jean, you are just being a scairdy-cat. I guess I use to be afraid of people who dressed up like witches and goblins, too. I was even afraid to look in my closet and under my bed after dark until I heard a storyteller tell a story at one of our Halloween parties.
S. I don’t remember that.
B. Oh, that’s right. That was the year before you moved here. Hey, it’s a great a story and I’ll tell it to you just like the storyteller.
(storyteller comes out to tell “Harry and the Terrible What-zit” by Dick Gackenbach)
ACT I (con’t)
B. There wasn’t that a cool story?
S. It sure was, Bud. And I’m not afraid of what-zits or witches. I’m going to Witch Gwendolyn’s right now and get me some chocolate covered ants! See you at the Halloween dance, Bud.
ACT II Scene: Witch Gwendolyn’s house with Witch and Sally Jean)
S. Well, here I am at Witch Gwendolyn’s. It’s even scarier up close - cob webs, spiders, and bats flying all over the place. But, I remember the story and how brave Harry was when he faced the what-zit. If Harry can do it - I can do it. Here it goes (knocks on door) (Put on witch puppet) Witch… I mean Ms. Gwendolyn, are you in there?
W. (off stage) Hold on to your hamstrings! I’ll be there in two shakes of a witches’ brew. (enters)
S. Trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat!
W. Smell your feet? Love to, Dearie, but I’m too busy. I’m on my way to the Halloween Ball.
S. Really? What a coincidence. So am I.
W. Yeah, well I’m entering the Halloween costume contest. Last year I came in second. First place went to some stupid Christmas tree. Can you believe it?
S. Well, actually, I can.
W. How’s that?
S. Cause I was the Christmas Tree
W. Drats! So you were the one that beat me out of first place. Everybody knows that a witch is the best Halloween costume. Dressing up like a Christmas tree! Hmmph! That’s the silliest thing I ever heard. You must have your holidays mixed up there, girlie.
S. Not at all. That was the whole idea. It was so different. Nobody would think to dress like a Christmas tree. Everybody and their monkey’s uncle dresses up like a stupid ole witch.
W. (makes a face) Just who are you calling stupid, little missy?
S. I guess, if the name fits…you’re wearing it.
W. (to audience) No use in letting this Cinderella clone ruin my Halloween. I’ll just give her some of my magic, specialty gum…guaranteed to work after she leaves. (to Sally Jean) Oh, what do I care about a silly ole contest. Halloween is for kids, right? A night to have some fun. That’s why I covered that ant hill out back with chocolate and gave chunks of it away for Halloween treats. The kids just loved it. But, unfortunately, I gave away the last piece away right before you came. But I have something better to give you Sally Jean… a little thing I call gumbo jumbo. I’d be honored if you take a piece as a peace offering.
S. Sure, a piece of candy is a piece of candy, I always say.
W. (gives her the gum) That’s it. Now just keep chewing. Unlike those cheap, sugary store-bought gum, this gum is more flavorful the more you chew.
S. (smacking noise as she chews) Mmmm! This is good. It tastes like sour grapes, black jack, green apple with a hint of teaberry all at once. Thanks! See you at the ball. (exits) (put your hand in the witch’s hand as you read the next part)
W. Not if I see you first! (wicked laughter) Oooh Sally Jean. Never mess with the queen of mean. As soon as I utter the magic words you will be wearing the most outrageous, the most dis-gusting costume imaginable. Now, lets see what should that be? A fire-breathing dragon? Nah! One good sneeze and she’d burn down all the Halloween decorations. Besides, dragons are in this year…too trendy. How about a frog? No, too cute. Let me see. What perfectly, despicable, preposterous kiddup can I turn her into? So gross they will put her on the cleaning committee just for wearing it. Ooooh, I got it. Now for the magic words:
Change Cinderella into a
Dinosaur! (wicked laugh as she exits)
ACT 2 (Dragon, Lambchop, Bud, Witch Gwendolyn, and Barney puppets) Scene - the school auditorium
B. Welcome, welcome, one and all to our annual Halloween costume contest. Some of our contestants have been working for months on their costumes. Please applaud for your favorite costume. Whoever gets the biggest applause is the winner. Here is our first contestant, Linda Looloobell as Lambchop. (Lambchop enters and walks across the stage) Lets here it for the lovely Lambchop. (Lambchop exits - throw off the puppet and put on the Dragon) Thank you, Lambchop. You were great. Now waiting in the wing is Harold Poindexter as Pete’s Dragon. Come on in Dragon (Dragon enters and walks across the stage) Let’s here it for Pete’s Dragon. (Dragon exits. Throw off dragon and put on Santa) And now here's Christopher Kringle as Santa Claus. Come on out her Chris and let the audience clap for your Santi suit. Looks like Chris is ready for the big show in December. (Throw off Santa and put on Witch Gwendolyn) Coming back for another year of witchiness is our one and only Witch Gwendolyn. (Witch enters) Let’s hear it for Gwendolyn!
W. That’s it I received the greatest applause. I’m the winner!
B. Hold on Ms Gwendolyn. We have one more contestant! If you will please leave the stage. (Witch leaves grumbling) (throw off witch and put on Barney) Yes, our next contestant is last year’s winner…none other than Sally Jean as Barney the Dinosaur! Let’s hear it for the purple dinosaur. (wait for applause) I think it unanimous. This year’s winner is Sally Jean. Let’s all sing the Barney Halloween song: (to the tune of "This Old Man")
Trick or treat
Smell my feet
Give me something good to eat
With a candy apple
And some harmless fright
We can have fun on Halloween night
(As Barney exits - put on Gwendolyn)
B. Thank you for coming. Hope to see you next year. (exits)
W. Curses, foiled again!