SANTA’S NOISY CHRISTMAS
Marilyn A. Kinsella
PUPPETS: Santa (S.), Elf (E.) (or person dressed as elf outside the puppet stage), Rudolph and eight reindeer (R.) - 2 each on paint sticks that can be slipped into slots on stage, Velcro them onto stage or flip acetate piece over the side of the stage, Frosty (F.), Christmas Fairy (C.), farmyard animals and woodland animals (paper animals on paint sticks or Velcro pieces to stick to back ledge of stage.)
PROPS: Pots and pans. Velcro strips across front of stage platform. Jingle bells.
*There does not need to be a Mrs. Claus, since she is singing off stage.
*Practice the sound effects with the audience.
*There is no need to change scenes as long as everything “freezes” while the fairy advises Santa.
*This needs some practice and preparation.
ACT One : North Pole Santa's House
S. Ho, ho ho! Tis the season to be jolly - but, I’m so tired I could fall asleep standing up. You wouldn’t believe the letters I received this year. Lots of new toys out there even had to reshape Barbie. All that sawing and cutting and sanding and painting to make new toys has made me tired. And that’s not all! What with everybody wanting electronic toys, I had to go to the University of the North Pole and get an engineering degree to figure it out how to put the latest video game together. But now everything is in the sleigh and ready to go. Just enough time to catch 40 winks so I’ll be wide awake for the big ride in the sky! Ahh, everything is nice and quiet. I think I’ll just lie down and….
(Santa just nods off when off stage there is the clanging of pots and pans and Mrs. Claus is singing:)
“Christmas is coming, the geese are getting fat.
Please put a shiny penny in the old man’s hat.”
S. That’s my dear wife baking yet another batch of her delicious Christmas cookies, but I do wish she would be more quiet. There’s just - too much noise.
(Santa just settles again when he hears the jingling of bells and Jingles enters singing “Jingle Bells” everyone joins in)
“Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way.
Oh what fun it is to ride on a one horse open sleigh - HEY”
E. (hyper and jingling bells) It’s Christmas! It’s Christmas! I can’t wait! I’m so excited.
S. Yes, Jingles, I know you’re excited, too many sugar cookies no doubt, but I’d really like for it to be quiet so I can get some much needed sleep. There’s just - too much noise.
(pots and pans clang and Jingles keeps shaking bells)
S. Oh, please Christmas fairy, help me!
(Everything freezes while fairy appears. There could be some bells or some other as she enters)
C. (flies around and lands near Santa) Hello, there Big Red. All ready for tonight?
S. Not exactly. I would like to take a nap and there is just too much noise. What can I do to make it more quiet, so I can sleep.
C. That’s easy - just bring all your barnyard animals into your house and you will see what is to be.
S. Barnyard animals? Did you say barnyard animals? Do mean like a cow and a goat, and a chicken and ducks?
C. Exactomundo! See you later, big guy!
S. (When the fairy leaves all the noise resumes. Santa looks off stage and hollers for the animals to come in)
All right! Come on in you guys. Make yourself comfortable by the fire.
(Animals enter singing:)
“Oh the weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful.
Since we’ve no place to go… Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow."
S. What was that Christmas Fairy thinking? Now Mrs. Claus is - clanging the pots and pans, Jingles is - ringing the bells and now the cow is - mooing and the chickens are - squawking. There’s just - too much noise. Christmas fairy - Come back!
C. (Everything freezes, tinkling bells as fairy appears) How’s it going?
S. How’s it going? Things are worse. I can’t stand it. I need peace and quiet.
C. All righty then. You must ask the woodland creatures to come in.
S. Certainly you can’t mean…
C. Of course, I mean - wolf, fox, bear, squirrel, rabbit - all of them. Only way to peace and quiet that I know of.
S. OK, OK, OK!
C. Later chief!
S. (Goes to call woodland animals) Yoo-hoo! Wolf, fox , rabbit and squirrel - Come in here for a moment. That’s it just line up against that wall.
(Woodland animals are velcroed to the left side of the stage as they sing:)
“Over the hills and through the woods to Santa’s house we go. The horse knows the way to carry the sleigh through the bright and drifting snow.”
(Wolf starts howling)
S. This is even worse now Mrs. Claus is - clanging the pots and pans. Jingles is - ringing the jingle bells, the cow is - mooing, the chickens are - squawking, and now the wolf - is howling! There is just - too much noise. Christmas fairy HELP!
(everything freezes as tiny bells ring as fairy appears.)
C. Let me guess. It’s still too noisy?
S. Yes, and I do need my beauty rest. I’ve got bags under my eyes bigger than the one on my back!
C. Then the next thing is to bring in Frosty.
S. I won’t even ask. Thank you, Christmas Fairy (exits)
S. (yells off stage) Frosty! Come here will you?
(Frosty enters singing)
“Frosty the Snowman was a jolly happy soul,
With a corncob pipe and button nose and two eyes made out of coal….”
F. Kind of warm in here, Santa. I think I’ll stay by the door. (drip, drip, drip)
S. This is unbelievable! Mrs. Claus is - clanging the pot and pans, Jingles is - ringing bells, the cow is - mooing, the chickens are - squawking, the wolf is - howling, and now Frosty is - drip, drip, dripping. Aggh! There’s just too much noise! Christmas Fairy, this isn’t working. Come back!
(Everything freezes as Fairy enters with sound of bells)
C. Really, Mr. C., I was right in the middle of my favorite TV show - “Have a Charlie Brown Christmas.” Now what’s the matter?
S. What’s the matter? What’s the matter? All this noise is what’s the matter. I need silence, quiet, quietness, quietude, quietus. I want sleep!
C. Oh, I get it. Then for the magic to really happen….
S. Please, don’t tell me. Could it be….reindeer.
C. By George, Santa, methinks you’ve got it. Commercial is over I need to get back. Tootles!
S. (calls off stage) (Sings as reindeer are placed in middle of puppet stage with Velcro) Oh Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid and Donder and Blitzen. And do you recall the most famous reindeer of all…
(everybody sings as Rudolph appears – sing with add-ons)
“…Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, Has a very shiny nose. (like a light bulb)
And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows. (like a light bulb)
All the other reindeer, use to laugh and call him names. (like Pinocchio)
They wouldn’t let poor Rudolph, play any reindeer games. (like Monopoly)
Then one foggy Christmas Eve Santa came to say,
‘Rudolph with your nose so bright, won’t you guide my sleigh tonight?’
Then how the reindeer loved him.
As they shouted out with glee. (whoopee!)
Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer, you’ll go down in history.” (like George Washington)
S. Ho, ho ho. Such a merry Christmas Eve. Too bad the Christmas Fairy isn’t here to enjoy it. Mrs. Claus is - clanging the pots and pans, Jingles is - ringing bells, the cow is - mooing, the chickens are - squawking, the wolf is - howling, Frosty is - drip, drip, dripping and now the reindeer are shouting – whoopee!.
(everything freezes, bells sound as Fairy appears)
C. You mean there’s not too much noise?
S. Too much noise? At Christmas? Whatever gave you that silly idea. Why all my friends and my family are here. What a joyous noise! Let’s all sing “We Wish You a Merry Christmas.”
ALL SING - We wish you a Merry Christmas
We wish you a Merry Christmas
We wish you a Merry Christmas
And a happy New Year