May, 2009

 

Jackie Baldwin sent in a couple of funny fractured nursery rhymes that started with what the mother of the nursery rhyme character always said. I got a bit carried away and added the following:

I love the idea about the mothers of nursery rhyme characters. Here are few that just popped...
 
Little Miss Muffet's mother...Hey there Little Missy, there are starving people in China who would dearly love a bowl of curds and whey.
 
Jack Sprat's mother - Don't eat that, it will make you fat.
 
The Old Woman in a Shoe's mother - At this rate you will have so many children you won't know what to do.
 
Georgie Porgie's mother - You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a princess.
 
Jack and Jill's mother - Like it would kill you to walk up that hill and fetch a pail of water for your ole mother!
 
Little Jack Horner's mother - Stop playing with your food, young man!
 
The 3 Little Kitten's Mother - Now, take care of these mittens, they don't grow on trees, you know.
 
There Was a Crooked Man's mother - Stand up straight or you'll turn into a pretzel.
 
Old Mother Hubbard's mother - A dog! You don't want a dog, they will eat you out of house and home.
 
Old King Cole's Mother - YOU want ME to get your pipe! Don't you have legs?
 
Little Boy Blue's mother - Get up Lazy Bones, there's work to do!
 
John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt's mother - Oh, so your Mr. Bigshot now, you think everyone is going to go around calling your name?
 
The Itsy-bitsy Spider's mother - Stop climbing on that thing or you will fall down and break your neck.

Baa-Baa Black Sheep's ewe  - If I've told you once I've told you twice...your father was the black sheep of the family.

Little Bo Peep's Mom - Just how does one go around and lose sheep? Why, I swear, you'd lose your head if it weren't attached!!

Humpty-Dumpty's Mom - Don't come crying to me if you fall off that wall and crack your skull open.

Humpty-Dumpty's Mom - Now you've done it. Our insurance is going to go through the roof.

Humpty-Dumpty's Mom - Don't waste your time with all those Kings horses or men, let me put some iodine on it and you'll be as good as new.

Bill Grogan's Goat's Ma - You ate what? Get out the castor oil!

Chicken Little's Mom - It's about time someone knocked some sense into that head!
 
And my personal favorite:
 
The Three Blind Mice's Mother - Stop that or you'll go blind.