Halloween Jingles Jokes, and Rhymes
Sing to the tune of Take Me Out to the Ball Game
Take Me Out to the Graveyard
Take me out to the graveyard.
Take me out to the tombs.
Buy me some worms from that Quasi named Jack.
I don't care "bout that hump on his back.
So it's boo, boo, boo at the Bone team.
If they don't win then they're lame.
For it's one, two three bites you've out
At the graveyard game!
Bootiful wishes! submitted by Karen Chace
Once there was a terrible troll
Who washed his feet in the toilet bowl.
He brushed his teeth with turpentine
And combed his hair with a porcupine.
The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the warthog’s snout.
The warthog grabbed a hankie and tried to blow it out.
The little bloke was blasted all the way to Spain,
So the itsy bitsy spider did not go there again.
There was an old lady who swallowed a bat
R - Imagine that...she swallowed a bat
There was an old Lady who swallowed a mummy
That tumbled, 'n mumbled, 'n rumbled in 'er tummy.
She swallowed the mummy to catch the bat...R Imagine that...she swallowed a bat
I know an old lady who swallowed a ghost,
It tasted like toast when she swallowed that ghost.
She swallowed the ghost to catch the mummy...That tumbled, 'n mumbled, 'n rumbled in 'er tummy.. She swallowed the mummy to catch the bat...R Imagine that...she swallowed a bat
I know an old lady who swallowed a witch
It gave her quite and itch when she swallowed that witch.
She swallowed the witch to catch the ghost, She swallowed the ghost to catch the mummy...That tumbled, 'n mumbled, 'n rumbled in 'er tummy. She swallowed the mummy to catch the bat...R Imagine that...she swallowed a bat
I know an old lady who swallowed goblin
She had a quite a problem a-gobblin' that goblin.
She swallowed the goblin to catch the witch. She swallowed the witch to catch the ghost, She swallowed the ghost to catch the mummy...That tumbled, 'n mumbled, 'n rumbled in 'er tummy.. She swallowed the mummy to catch the bat...R Imagine that...she swallowed a bat
I know an old lady who swallowed a corpse...she's dead, of course!
Late, late one night, a bloody vampire bat slowly
flew back into his cave. He was the last one in
that night. Wearily, he hung himself up for a good day's sleep.
But that wonderful smell of fresh blood filled
the cave, just like the smell of popcorn fills
your home, and it woke up all the other vampire
bats. They sniffed and sniffed and tracked down the source of the smell.
"The blood. The BLOOD! Tell us where you found the blood!"
"No, no," moaned the Bloody Bat. "Just leave me
alone. I ache all over. All I want to do is try to get some sleep."
"No, NO!", the others cried. "You MUST show us
where you found the blood. We won't leave you alone until you do!"
"Oh, all right, " whined the Bloody Bat. Slowly
the Bloody Bat flew out of the cave, followed by
a vast swarm of vampire bats. They flew up and
over the hill. On the way down the hill, the Bloody Bat called out,
"Do you see that tree down there, by the river?"
"Yes, YES, we see the tree!"
The Bloody Bat sighed. "Well, I didn't."
There was an old woman all skin and bones. Ooo-oo-oo-oo!
She lived down by the old grave-yard. Ooo-oo-oo-oo!
One night she thought she’d take a walk. Ooo-oo-oo-oo!
She walked down by the old grave-yard. Ooo-oo-oo-oo!
She saw the bones all lying round. Ooo-oo-oo-oo!
She went to the closet to get a broom. Ooo-oo-oo-oo!
She opened the door and BOO!
What did the one pumpkin say to the other pumpkin when he had a fever?
You're burning up!!
What is a ghosts favourite kind of cereal?
Scream of wheat!!
What does a witch eat at the beach?
A Sandwitch!!
Why didn't the skeleton fight?
Cuz he didn't have the guts to!!
Why didn't the go to the halloween party?
Cuz he had no body to go with!!
How did one witch know the other?
They where broom mates in collage
What is a ghost’s favorite desert?
I scream and boo berry pie!
Why did the girl vampire break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a pain in the neck!
Why did the bat use mouth wash?
Because he had bat breath!
What does a baby ghost need at a restaurant?
A boo-ster seat!
What does a ghost eat for dinner?
Spookghetti!
What is a vampire's favorite holiday?
Fangs-giving!
Why was the little ghost crying?
Because he had a BOO-BOO!
What did the snowman and the vampire name their baby?
Frostbite!
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spare ribs!
What is a witch's favorite subject in school?
Spelling!
What is a witch with poison ivy called?
An itchy witchy!
What kind of street does a ghost like best?
A dead end!
What kind of pets do ghosts have?
Scaredy Cats!
What do you get when you cross a witch with a clown?
A Brew Ha-Ha!
When does a skeleton laugh?
When something tickles his funny bone!
What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?
A Hoblin Goblin!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Fred.
Fred who?
I'm Fred of witches!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Emma.
Emma who?
Emma 'fraid of ghosts, too!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Howl.
Howl who?
Howl I know you're not a ghost!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Philip.
Philip who?
Philip my bag with candy!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Wayne.
Wayne who?
Wayne can I eat my Halloween candy?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Annie.
Annie who?
Annie body home?
Knock, Knock
Who's there?
Olive
Olive who?
Olive Halloween
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Fred.
Fred who?
I'm Fred of witches!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Emma.
Emma who?
Emma 'fraid of ghosts, too!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Howl.
Howl who?
Howl I know you're not a ghost!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Philip.
Philip who?
Philip my bag with candy!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Wayne.
Wayne who?
Wayne can I eat my Halloween candy?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Annie.
Annie who?
Annie body home?
How do you greet a three-headed monster?
Hello! Hello! Hello!
What does a polite monster say when he meets you for the first time?
Pleased to eat you!
What is a monster’s favorite game?
Swallow the leader.
How do you stop a monster from digging up your garden?
You take his shovel away.
Why are a monster’s fingers never more than 11 inches long?
Twelve inches would make a foot.
How can you tell if there’s a monster in your closet?
You can’t shut the door.
How do you keep an ugly monster in suspense?
I’ll tell you tomorrow.
Did you hear about the day Romeo monster met Juliet monster?
It was love at first fright.
What happens if a big hairy monster sits in front of you at the movies?
You miss most of the movie.
Did you hear about the monster who had 8 arms?
He said they came in real handy.Thanks to Sue Black
