The Hobyahs
This is a story that Rev. January Kiefer and I performed in tandem. January did most of the work in re-writing this story. I still use many of the phrases, she created as I tell the story.
I'd like to tell you the story of the Hobyahs. Nowadays, people don't know about the Hobyahs, so I need to tell you a few things. You see the Hobyahs were nasty little critters. They stood about 2 feet tall and they were covered with brown shaggy fur. They had big pink pot bellies that stood way out and pink flat, floppy feet that went floppity, flap-flop. Now so far they might seem kind of cute, like a teddy bear, but, oh no, the Hobyahs...the Hobyahs had row upon row of long sharp teeth. And, if a tooth should happen to fall out...another, longer tooth would take it's place.
Now, there are two things you need to know about the Hobyahs. Thing number one: Hobyahs hate the light. Thing number two: Hobyahs can't stand dogs! You remember that.
In order for me to tell this story, I need your help. Every time the Hobyahs come a-visiting' they come...Creeping out of the cave, Climbing down the mountain, Crawling across the fields, and as they come they sing
(R) "Hobyah, Hobyah, Hobyah...We will eat up the old man; We will eat up the old woman; We will carry off the little girl." Can you say that with me (R) And every time you see me raise my hand like this... I want you to bark. Can I hear you bark? (hand up and down) Very good. I think your ready...
Long ago, long, long ago, there lived a little old man and a little old woman. They lived in a hut made of cornstalks and mud. They lived in this house with a little girl and her little dog Turpie. Now that little old man and little old woman, they made that little girl do all the work. I mean all the work...choppin' fire wood, hoeing the garden, washin' the floors, cookin' cleanin'...all day long. And they were never happy with that little girl. The only bit of happiness in that little girl's live was her little dog Turpie. Oh, she loved little dog Turpie, and Little Dog Turpie loved her.
Well, one night, there wasn't any moon...no moon at all. It was dark...real dark, so they all went to bed. But, way up on the mountain, the Hobyahs woke up. They came... Creeping out of the cave, Climbing down the mountain, Crawling across the fields, and, as they came they sang (R) "Hobyah, Hobyah, Hobyah...We will eat up the old man; We will eat up the old woman; We will carry off the little girl."
But, Little Dog Turpie he heard those Hobyahs comin' and he began to bark (hand in air)...and all the Hobyahs ran away.
The next mornin' that old man was angry. He said, "Do you realize that I didn't get a wink of sleep last night with that mutt of yours a barkin' and a-barkin'! Why, I'm gonna take that dog into town and sell him for fifteen dollars!"
When the little girl heard that, she cried, "Please, please don't take my little dog Turpie. I love little dog Turpie...I..." but it was too late, that old man grabbed little dog Turpie around the scruff of his neck and took him into town.
But, everyone he met said the same thing, "Fifteen dollars! Fifteen dollars! You mean, you want me to pay you fifteen dollars for a dog that parks all night!" And, he had to bring little dog Turpie back home.
Well, that night, after they all went to bed, waaaay up the mountain., those Hobyahs woke up.
They came... Creeping out of the cave, Climbing down the mountain, Crawling across the fields, and, as they came they sang (R) "Hobyah, Hobyah, Hobyah...We will eat up the old man; We will eat up the old woman; We will carry off the little girl."
But, Little Dog Turpie he heard those Hobyahs comin' and he began to bark (hand in air)...and all the Hobyahs ran away.
The next morning the little old lady woke up. She was not happy. She said, "I didn't get a wink of sleep last night. That dog of yours was kept me from getting any sleep. And, heavens knows...I need my beauty rest. Why, I'm gonna take that dog of yours into town and sell him for ten dollars.
The little girl said, "No, please, don't take my little dog Turpie. He's the only one who loves me. Please..." But it was too late, that old woman grabbed that little dog Turpie and took him into town. But, everyone she met said the same thing..."Ten dollars! Ten dollars! Why I wouldn't give you ten cents for a dog that barks all night!" So, she had to bring little dog Turpie back home.
That night, waaaay up the mountain, those Hobyahs woke up.
They came... Creeping out of the cave, Climbing down the mountain, Crawling across the fields, and, as they came they sang (R) "Hobyah, Hobyah, Hobyah...We will eat up the old man; We will eat up the old woman; We will carry off the little girl."
But, Little Dog Turpie he heard those Hobyahs comin'; a little dog Turpie smelled those Hobyahs comin' and he began to bark (hand in air)...and all the Hobyahs ran away.
The next mornin' that little old man was so made he had steam comin' out of his ears and nose. He said, "I've had it with little dog Turpie. I'm takin' him into town...and givin' him away! And that's just what he did.
Now that night when those Hobyahs woke up, you know what they did...
They came... Creeping out of the cave, Climbing down the mountain, Crawling across the fields, and, as they came they sang (R) "Hobyah, Hobyah, Hobyah...We will eat up the old man; We will eat up the old woman; We will carry off the little girl."
But, that night, there was no little dog Turpie to hear those Hobyahs comin'; there was not little dog Turpie to smell those Hobyahs comin'.
So, those Hobyahs ran to that old house, they found that little old man...and they ate him up! (growl, slurp...lick fingers) You know, he tasted a little bit like...Kentucky Fried Chicken.
Then those Hobyahs found that little old woman and they ate her up (growl, slurp...lick finger) She tasted like...a Hostess Twinkie. Then they went to find the little girl.
But, now the sun began to rise. And, do you remember that I told you that Hobyahs hate light? Well, they found that little girl all right, but they put her in a sack and carried her all the way back up to the top of that mountain. They dropped that sack of girl outside the cave and ran inside. (shoom-shoom-shoom) and went sound asleep (snore).
Now that little girl was stuck inside that sack and she knew she was in big trouble. And whenever you're in big trouble, you got let people know that you are in big trouble. So, she began to yell, "Help, help! I'm stuck inside this bag and the Hobyahs are gonna wake up and they're gonna eat me! Help, Please, HELP!"
Well, there just happened to be a man walking the trails of that mountain. He had his big old black trusty dog with him. He heard something and ran over to the cave. There he saw a big ole gunny sack a yellin' and a screamin. He thought somebody was in trouble. So, he opened up that sack. He couldn't believe his eyes! He looked down at that little girl and that little girl looked up at that man, and she said..."Daddy? Daddy, is that you?"
"Yes, it's me! I've been looking and looking for you!"
So, the little girl told him the whole story. She told him about the little old man and the little old woman, and she told him about her little dog Turpie. That man took his big old black trusty dog and put him side the sack, and he took his little girl into town to find her little dog Turpie.
Now that night, when the Hobyahs woke up. They came creeping out of the cave and they sang...Hobyahs, Hobyahs, Hobyahs....we will eat up the little girl!"
BUT! When they opened that sack, that big old trusty black dog, jumped out (hand up) and ate up each and everyone of those Hobyahs!
That's why to this day, you never see nor hear about those Hobyahs...unless, of course, you listen to this story.
